30 Things to Do When I'm 30

Welp, here it is. I'm rapidly approaching my 30th year on this planet. I think I have a lot of life under my belt for this ripe old age of mine. But I think I could stand to use a lot more. On May 9th I'll be turning 30. While most people are continuously uttering to me "humorous?" cliches, I'm actually not dreading it. Tickle my ass and call me crazy, I know. But 30's gonna be good. It's gonna be the year of Me. The year of JenJan. The year of JenJan's Brain. My noggin will be filled with many a Instagram worthy experiences. And I'll be taking mental (and actual) snapshots along the way. It's not a bucket list, as that I am not dying. Just L-I-V-I-N-G. To add to me just generally living my life,  (because, as we all know, "life is what happens while we are busy making other plans" -John Lennon) and in the spirit of my living in the moment mentality, I have comprised a list of 30 things to do when I'm 30, if the title hadn't already given that away. Which it did.... Anyways, this isn't a list with strict rules, it can change and bend and form just like the year itself. But these are my ideas. A jumping off point, if you will. If I can do them all exactly by the time I'm 31, that'd be great. If not, eh, c'est la vie. If I'm able to do them all, and almost as importantly, write about each one after I do them, even better! That way all of you little lovelies can follow along in my journey. But, for now, here is my list:

1. Bungee Jump. In a very cool, Road Rules Europey kind of way. I want to do this more than sky diving for some reason. I'd feel freer without someone latched on my back. Especially if I piss myself. But also because I could fall backwards. Like a trust leap with just myself. 

2. Get a tattoo. Sorry Ma and Dad, I know your normal laid back parenting style has still always hated tattoos. But it doesn't need to be big and what if I just got each of your faces? One on each eyelid? PS I'm taking your other daughter with me to get one in tandem. 

3. Go to Europe. This one is already booked. I will officially see Italy, the number one place I have always wanted to go. The ultimate list item for me. I will land. And I will cry. And I will appreciate it possibly more than any other person on this entire planet. Every last drop of Italy will be enjoyed. And I will assault Facebook, JenJan's Brain, and Instagram with my experiences so you'll all be there too.

4. Get Married in Vegas. To anybody. Just to say I did. Preferably by Elvis. Also, if I ever actually get married, I think I'd also be ok with this as my genuine wedding. Drive thru optional.

5. Road Trip in an RV. A few friends. The open road. Me driving at least part of the way. Hilarious. No pooping on the RV.

6. Learn Another Language. I know enough French and Chinese to not help me at all in any situation. I'd like to start by learning Italian. So far I have four books and 3 cd's. Haven't learned a bit. Somebody help me.

7. Kiss a Stranger. Preferably in the Rain. That last line stays in bold cause it's important. I use the term stranger loosely as that I hate people...

8. Go to a Concert Festival. I'd like to go to a considerably large one. With zero or very few DJ's. And preferably with Outkast performing. I'm currently working on this one.

9. Learn How to Play "Imagine" On the Piano. This one was originally "Learn to Play and Instrument", but then realized that this specific thing was all I really wanted to learn how to do. And I'm OK with that.

10. Attempt to Win an Eating Challenge. Like a Man vs. Food type oyster slurping or spicy wing eating thingermajigger. Not like a dipping hot dogs in water one. That shit is gross.

11. Gamble a Large Sum of Money on One Hand/Game. But let's be clear. A "large sum of money" to me is very relative. Fifty dollars on red please!

12. Throw a Big Halloween Masquerade Party. Costumes highly mandatory. No half assed shit. I take this one very seriously. Like start planning your costume now or you're not invited.

13. See California. Preferably Big Sur and the coast, but I'd settle for simply seeing the Pacific Ocean. 

14. Learn How to Surf. I've always said that deep down I think I'm a surfer I just don't know how. I'm oddly way more coordinated in water than I am on land, which isn't difficult, but I'd still like to give it a try. And if I suck, then, well, I'm still on a beach with waves.

15. Learn How to Golf. Notice this does not say "Learn How to Golf Well". I just want to learn how to hit the ball. Cause it looks fun. And in case I make some yuppie friends from the 80's. That's a thing right? But you won't catch me in a polo a flat ass shorts. 

16. Go to Costa Rica. Yes, there's a lot of travel on this list. But this one kind of goes hand in hand with the surfing one. And plus, there's monkeys there.

17. Have a Song Written About Me. I mean, it's entirely possible that this has already happened. I know a lot of musicians, and plus I'm pretty awesome....soooooo.  I'm also under the distinct impression that Dave Matthews wrote Grey Street about me. But I've never been aware of any in existence (other than that one) and it'd just be so frickin cool. Cue an Ode to JenJan. Or insert my name somewhere into the Soulja Boy song. I'd probably be fine with both. 

18. Go to a Nude/Topless Beach: I just want my ass to see natural sunlight. Is that too much to ask?

19. Dress in Drag. As a male or female, I'm not picky. I'd prefer female drag though cause there's way more glitter involved. 

20. Go Out to Eat or To the Movies by Myself. Ain't no shame in my game. It has to be a legit restaurant, not like a Panera. Mmmm Panera. 

21. Go to Some type of Convention. I've surprisingly been to a car convention, but, I mean, cmon now... I'm thinking of a non-white trash convention. Preferably filled with nerds. Like a Comicon type situation. Would also settle for a Medieval Fair. 

22. Successfully Slam Dunk. I think this one speaks for itself so I'm just gonna leave it.

23. Sing Karaoke. Last year was a bit of a fluke so I won't count that one. I specifically want to sing the Janet Jackson part of "Scream" and do the dance, preferably with my sister. Or sing "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" cause it's like twenty minutes long. Now I just need to find someone who knows that song who isn't my dad. Or any No Doubt song. If only more people got as amped to "Sunday Morning" as I did.

24. Boudoir Photoshoot. I think I'd settle for any professional photoshoot but who knows? Maybe I can be not awkward and sexy and can look at it when I'm 90 and be like yup, that's where that used to be. Or maybe it'll just be me naked holding two big mac's in front of my boobs. Genius. 

25. Have a Party Thrown in My Honor. I feel like I'm always the planner, organizer, general Monica Gellar of events. Someone do it for me. And talk about how great I am. I basically want to be alive for my own funeral. If my own funeral was a party. Which hopefully it will be. We can do this after I strangle myself on a bungee cord. Or a surprise party situation. I feel like that's the only setting I'd feel OK without any control.

26. Write Anything of Any Value. Blog, book, short story, zine, greeting card, fortune cookie. The term value can mean many things here.

27. Walk on Hot Coals. I want a complete Pam Beesley moment. I think I've kind of done the speech, now I just need the coals.

28. Read All Three Lord of the Rings Books. Cause you can't really say you're a fan till you do and my dad and brother look at me with such disdain. I hope it's cause of the books...

29. Learn How to French Braid. Whatever, I didn't say all of these were life changing. However, if I see one more braid on Pinterest I might punch somebody in the face. Which brings me to my last thing to do....

30. Punch Somebody in the Face. 

List over.