Why Angelina Jolie is a Smelly Douche

So Angelina Jolie used to be kind of cool, even though she was bat shit crazy. She did make out with her bro and drink vials of blood but I'll take that version over the uptight anorexic weirdo that she is now. She acts like she's better than everyone and the entertainment press completely treats her like she's a saintlike goddess when she's just a boring self-indulgent douche. Brad Pitt used to be kind of cool but she stunk him up bad too. Her talent also seems to be sucked out of her. Allow to have my examples sink in if you're still skeptical.


Back when she was cool:

-A shaved head
-Jumped into a hotel pool while being interviewed after winning her first Golden Globe
-Used to brag about giving bj's in limo's to the red carpet press
-Ate food
-Starred and actually acted in movies like Foxfire, Gia, and Girl Interrupted
-Stole people's old hillbilly husbands

Now that she's a smelly douche:

-Has talons for hands

-Gives a half assed less badass hollywood smile as if to say her poo doesn't stink

-Talks about douchey things

-Steals peoples' douchey husbands

-Thinks it's not cool to eat cause Africans don't get to eat

-Dresses like a rich old lady

-Appears in movies like Kung Fu Panda 2, Wanted, Shark Tale, Life or Something Like it and about 2000 movies with the exact same plot where she rolls under moving cars with some type of gun. We get it, you're still trying to appear badass but you are not.

Case closed.