BEN
Think they’ll take us back?
PETE
Yes. But I don’t know why. Do you ever
wonder how somebody could even like
you?
BEN
All the time, man. Like every day. I
wonder how you like me.
PETE
How can Debbie like me? She likes me.
I mean, she loves me. The biggest
problem in our marriage is that she
wants me around. She loves me so much
that she wants me around all the time.
That’s our biggest problem. And I
can’t even accept that? Uh, like that
upsets me?!
Ben sits up from the bed.
BEN
What?
PETE
She’s the one. She loves me.
BEN
You can’t believe...that people love
you? I love you, man! Debbie loves
you!
PETE
I don’t think I can accept her love.
There’s something wrong with me.
BEN
You can’t accept love?
PETE
I don’t know what it is.
BEN
Love? The most beautiful, shiny, warmy
thing in the world? You can’t accept
it?
PETE
I have to go to this other chair
PETE (cont’d)
Oh, this is a better energy.
BEN
You can’t accept pure love? You can’t
accept Debbie? She’s chosen to give
you her life. She’s picked you as her
life partner! But you play fantasy
baseball because you can’t accept her
love?
Ben BURPS.
BEN (cont’d)
Ugh. I could accept it, man. And
Debbie’s amazing, man. She’s cool and
she’s funny and she smells good and
she’s nice and her hair always looks
different. She’s too good for you,
man.
Pete shoves his hand in his mouth.
PETE
Tastes like a rainbow.
BEN
You’re disgusting. You’re an urchin.
And she busts your balls because
you’re a little bitch! You’re a filthy
bitch! And I’d bust your balls! Debbie
wants to give her life to you and
Alison doesn’t want to do that with
me. And it makes me sad all day. I
want to go home.
PETE
(with fist in mouth)
I want to go home, too
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